After All, We're Just Clay

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very one of us lives life yearning for or expecting it to be something beautiful, something     whole and unbroken. We will do whatever it takes to fight and cling to the beautiful image we have in our minds. We chip away at ourselves and other people to achieve our desires, molding and pinching our reality into the dreams we have envisioned.

God, however, has something to say about the way we do things. He says in Isaiah 55:8 that “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts.” In Jeremiah 18 we read the story of the potter. He sees things kind of the way we do; he’s looking to make something drop dead gorgeous – a flawless masterpiece. But things just get way out of control. His clay isn’t doing what his hands are telling it and pretty soon, his piece-de-resistance is shattered in pieces on the ground. That potter is a lot like us (we are made in his image), just wanting something beautiful. But we humans are a strange kind of clay. Sometimes the things we want put kinks in the potter’s plan, “marring” the vessel we were supposed to be. Our dreams don’t fit into the shape he had in mind, and in the moment our will clashes with his our life crumbles apart. The potter looks around in dismay, and we lie in pain, crushed and shattered on the ground. What can we do with those pieces of our life? Or better yet, what can God do when we let him pick us up, one piece at a time?

Mosaics are beautiful renditions of…brokenness? Enchanting our eyes with the jagged lines and crooked edges, our eyes follow each little piece until we finally get the complete picture. One shard at a time is carefully placed in just the right order to compose a work of art. Those pieces had to come from somewhere. Something had to be broken in order to achieve the full effect of a stunning mosaic. It’s a grace-filled example of how God sees us. It’s how we should see God’s handiwork in us. Psalm 51:17 reveals God’s delight in brokenness. “The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.” Maybe God likes mosaics. Maybe that’s why he breaks us. Our idea of beautiful isn’t what he wants. He wants us his way. If that means being broken a million times, then so be it.

Mosaics require a lot of commitment…and dedication. You don’t just pick up a handful of clay pieces and arrange them in a moment. First you have to decide what you want. Imagine God looking at the pieces of our life, puzzled, and trying to figure out how to arrange them into the most beautiful work possible. He’s settling on what pieces to use and what needs to be tossed out. What character qualities need to be reshaped, and what dreams he needs us to let go. Then he decides where to start. It’s often the place we least want work done. After that, he meticulously places the small tiles. Remember, a thousand years is like a few days to God. He could be arranging some pieces of our lives for years. Then the glue needs to set. God needs to see that we accept his plan, and aren’t going anywhere. The glossy finish needs to be applied - God’s grace is the finishing shine that completes the whole picture.

Say Goodbye

These last two weeks have been when all the schools hold their graduations. Our Junior High graduation was last week, and I attended my own school's on Wednesday. It was definitely hard to see all the little kids that I've been spending time with crying their little hearts out. When the sixth graders leave for their new Junior High school, many of them are leaving as heroes, with a wake of sad little third and fourth graders and good friends in the fifth grade who still have a year left until they follow.

It's also time for us teachers to start saying goodbye. We've started the rigorous process of packing up, figuring what to leave and what to keep. Last notes and letters, goodbyes to friends we've known and worked with for the past year, to the students who we have taught and who have taught us, and to each other - we teachers have worked and taught and relaxed with one another every day for the last 10 months, learning with each other as we have served the Lord over here. God has brought us through many experiences that we will come away from changed, with new eyes for the work that we are called to as Christians. I've been memorizing a passage in Philippians 2, and verse two gives me a new realization of how important it is in work like this to have a likemindedness and the same love with your fellow labourers.

We have only one month left over here, and our schedule is crammed with summer camps. We will be getting two new American teachers to help us, and there will be several different locations for these camps in Taiwan. In the next few weeks I will be moved with some of the other teachers to Nantou which is in middle Taiwan for a camp in the last week of July, then up to Taipei for several days before I fly out back to the states. Please pray for safety while we travel and that there wouldn't be any difficult complications with the camps.

Bits and Pieces and My Favourite: Darth Vader Impressions

These past two weeks have probably been some of the busiest since I've been here.  On Thursday of last week one of our friends took us into Kaohsiung to watch the dragon boat races... all sorts of little shops and stands were set up for the four day festival (we got Thursday and Friday off, but had to work the Saturday of the next week.  It rained during the races while we stood on the side of the river cheering for the different boats.  Usually there is a special rider at the front of the boat who grabs a flag at the end marker and our friend told us that there have been races where the rider fell off the boat.  We told him that if there was an American dragon boat festival...the boat rider's job would probably be to wrestle for the flag - he thought it was pretty funny when me and Sarah demonstrated what a boat race would look like American style.

I'm looking outside my window now at the freshly planted rice fields.  At the beginning of the year we were told that they harvest the rice twice a year - at the end of each school semester.  The first time they cut it was at Christmas - we saw it as a sign of hope - accomplishment (not seriously, but it is rather dramatic to think about :) the second time they cut it was recently in the last two weeks, signalling the beginning of summer and the almost-end of our time here. 

Today our friend took us to a river camp up in the mountains... the water was so clear and we climbed all over the rocks... the view of the mountain peaks was delightful.  But apparently in Taiwan the swimming holes also serve a dual purpose as bathing waters.  One person was even shampooing his hair!!  Fortunately for us, he was considerate enough to lather up downstream. 

We American teachers have also been recently aquainted with a new treat - white chocolate covered purple potato crisps.  They're a sweet crunchy potato roll dipped in the chocolate...it's so yummy!!

All the prayers I had about this new school program have been answered, and in some of mine and Phoebe's conversations, I've been able to share about the reason I'm over here (which was God's work) and a little bit about my faith (which is the reason I'm still here).  I praise the Lord for every opportunity He's given me here to tell others about Him.  Please pray that the one's I've talked to -even briefly- will have a curiosity to learn more about the God I serve.  

Today Phoebe had me doing role-play with the students for our English dialogue... she told me to think up some funny voices to use for variety.  A lion, a witch, and a wardrobe of voices later, we were on the final run-through and it was my turn to choose a voice.  I got my mouth really close to the microphone, and breathed hoarsely, wheezing out the words in my most deepest possible voice...then sucking in air and finishing the sentences.  Darth Vader isn't quite as well known over here, but I still got a standing ovation from the kids, and Phoebe laughed so hard she made me sit down during coffee break so she could get a video of me talking like that.  

Last week I got to my school a little bit early, and instead of going to my classroom, I decided to do some exploring...I found my co-teacher, Phoebe, with a classroom full of 1st and 2nd graders and none of them much taller than my knee.  She was teaching them the motions to the song, "Farmer in the Dell"... I helped her with that and then she sat me down to read the story to them... 10 minutes and about a billion 'Hi ho the derry-O's later, we all said goodbye.  This morning when I walked past their classroom at lunchtime, I saw all their eyes widen in surprise -they never know what day I'm coming- and they shouted out "Hello, teacher Hannah!".  They're cute enough to make me never want to leave.

Odds and Ends

Several days ago me and Jo got out of school and started walking towards the train station...our route takes us by the track field and past the first building of the school.  This day though, we happened to walk by right during rappelling class (which we didn't know existed).  A group of seventh graders and their teacher were rappelling down the side of the school!  They were hooked to the railing on one of the upper stories.  It was really fun to watch, especially since some of them were pretty apprehensive.

We taught at one of our last temporary outside schools for the year and it was way up in the mountains.  The area is apparently famous for hang gliding.  Before we left we were waiting at the front of the school watching our kids practice singing one of their tribal songs in the field.  All of the sudden it started pouring rain - it was one of the first rains we've seen this season.  It was really refreshing and hilarious to watch because the teachers made the kids finish the song out in the field.  As soon as they were done all the kids ran to where we were under the sheltered foyer.  As a gift, they gave us a CD of songs that our students had recorded.  

One of the new classes we started at our school is a music class and of course since we are English teachers, we teach English songs - and we get to pick the songs.  It's so fun to end a class period and hear the kids singing 'Do, Lord'.  The new classes are a little bit stressful, but I know that the little opportunities we get like that to put in a tiny glimpse of our faith makes it worth it. 

I'm reading through Nehemiah, and realizing how much he did for the people of Israel in the rebuilding of Jerusalem.  He cries out to God in 5:19 to think on him for good.  While over here, I certainly haven't done anything that could compare to Nehemiah's work, but I hope someday I'll be able to make as much a difference as he did for the Lord.

New Plans (Lesson)

Last week we had a meeting at the English village with six different elementary schools.  All six of us teachers are assigned right now for the month of June to teach at one of these schools.  I was placed at a school where I already know the kids, and I am friends with the English teacher.  All of us are a little bit apprehensive about what we are going to be doing since this is a whole new game for us.  All year we have had to be flexible within certain unvariables, but this last month we've been getting ready for many changes that we will be implenting to kick off for the new teachers coming next year.  That meeting was one of the most scariest things on my agenda besides next month, and God was so good to answer my prayers for it to go well.  The Lord has been incredibly gracious to me recently especially as it has been kind of stressful working out the new programs and stuff as a teacher.  

It hasn't been all work and no play though...on Tuesday we went to inspect a crocodile farm as a prospective activity for summer camps.  After feeding the crocs and then fishing for bullfrogs we got to hold one of the smaller gators.  At the end of our visit, the man was showing us around tied a pig's foot onto a big bamboo pole and dangled it over the pool where the 30 year old crocodiles were...they jumped and snapped at it, and the guy was just standing there pulling on the pole to tease them out of the water.  

Immense

Psalm 81:10 "I am the Lord thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt: open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it."

I always thought this verse sounded kind of funny with the metaphor that God was using...but as I look back on this past week...I realize that we have received some immense answers to prayer.  As a team, we have petitioned the Lord for opportunities regarding reaching out in our community.  This Sunday us four girls had a chance to host five young students at our house for an Easter celebration.  We shared the story of Easter with them...and all of them said it was their first time to hear about it.  Afterward, we introduced them to a more 'American tradition'...Easter egg painting.  We had a really good time with them and were so grateful for the chance to tell them a little more about our faith.  Some of our students want so much to spend time with us, that they'll come to church with us, even if they are practicing Buddhists!  If we can't understand the service, at least they can... our prayer is that while we are here, and after we leave, the students we have gotten to know will think about the way that we American teachers are different, and seek out more about the faith they see in us.  

Us four girls are trying to organize a Saturday program we can have for a small group of students.  Most of our Saturdays are spent doing something with them, but we really want to start a consistent time to get together.  We could really use your prayers - a lot of times for us the weekend is so easy to just take for ourselves and rest after the school week than struggle for several hours over a language barrier with young teenagers.

For everyone back home who has been praying for my safety overseas...your prayers came in handy today.  I had my first car + bike accident - and I was on the bike.  I was on my way to the store to pick up some bacon for dinner, when a parallel parked car started to pull out into the road.  There wasn't enough time for me to stop or swerve away.  The front tire of my bike hit the front fender and I lurched into my handlebars and got flipped sideways onto my back.  I was stunned, but I was also laying in the road, so I jumped up and went to my bike.  The tire was at an almost right-angle with my handlebars and the right pedal was stuck under the front of the car.  I yanked it out, (I must confess not really caring if I was damaging the vehicle that had just inflicted such trauma to my person) and tried to get back on...that's when I realized about the handle bars.  I put the tire between my knees and twisted the bars back into position and hoped that it would stay put - I still had to go get the bacon.  I was still shaking when I got home, and a little bit bruised, but as I look back, it could have been so much more serious.  God has his hand over me, and it's such a safe feeling to realize that nothing can happen to me that He does not allow.  My name is written on His hand and everywhere I am He is continually aware of my needs.  -Isaiah 49:16 "Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me."

Precious

My kids try so hard to make me happy.  They stumble over words and think nothing of how silly their pronunciation might sound to me...they just want me to know that they want to be able to say it...for me...the teacher.  I've been here for almost eight months now, and as I look back...I'm trying to see all the things that I have done for the Lord that would make him happy.  I wonder what he saw as silly choices.  I feel just like one of the little kids I teach...fumbling around the things in my path, and trying to do my best for the Teacher.  I wonder if my kids are thinking about how well they measure up - if they make the cut.  It makes me think about how concerned I should be about what the Lord thinks of my accomplishments and failures over here.